If you’re wondering why I may not be in your Facebook network or friend circle anymore, it’s because I’ve been using a fake account. It’s true, Facebook itself told me. Not only that, but Lisa has been using a fake account too.
Now, I know many of you knew me as Brandon Blatcher, the name I’ve had since birth, though ya’ll have certainly called me other names at times. But Facebook has uncovered the truth and now my shame is revealed.
This all started a few weeks ago, when I tried to log into Facebook, only to get this error:
Your account has been disabled by an administrator. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.
Naturally the link they provided didn’t contain any information or email addresses so I Googled around to find some sort of contact info. All I got was (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), which I emailed saying they were in error and could they turn my account back on. After a week they replied with the above notice, saying I was using a fake account.
I’m not sure where to go from here, as who I am clearly isn’t who I thought I was and then to find out that Lisa isn’t Lisa, well, I need a moment or at least a phone number to talk to someone over at Facebook and politely ask just who the hell they think they are and what they hell they’re going to do about this problem.
Update:
Facebook, please notice that this is the full, uncropped picture that was used in my Facebook profile.
