Partially inspired by a bull session with a friend:

“I found your lack kerning disturbing.”


“I hope so, for your sake. 80 pound text is not as forgiving as I am.”


“Luke, search your feelings, you know I am your Art Director.”


“The hipster attitude is strong with this one.”


“And now, your highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Postscript Fonts…”


“Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to layout a page is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”


“I sense something. A font I’ve not used since…”


“You don’t know the power of Quark!”


“Perhaps I can find new ways to kern them.”


“I’ve been waiting for you, Quark. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I can make drop shadows directly on the page.”



“It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your Art Director now.”



“He will join our agency or die, my master.”


“The arrogant ego is strong with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Creative Director yet.”


“What is thy stylesheet, my master?”


slight edit due to first comment